Beginning ... at the beginning

Welcome to my blog!  I'm Laurie, 40 years old and loving it.  I've got two kids, 9 and 6, and am a stay at home mom, but preparing to get back into the work world.  I've been separated for 3ish years but not divorced yet because we're too lazy and hate paperwork.  It's been a busy few years: moving home from Australia (land of red dirt, gorgeous beaches and my marriage destruction), renovations, kids beginning school, adopting 2 dogs and a cat, and my first post-marriage heartbreak.  I've struggled with reconnecting socially, with the fear of rejection/failure and with smushed self-esteem.

The recent, unexpected kindness of a friend when I was in need changed my perspective about how I'm living.  By always trying to keep the peace I was allowing my own ass to be kicked.  Hard.  I've missed out on a lot of things I wanted because I was too scared to ask, or take a risk, or piss someone off to get them.  No more.  Time for change and to become the captain of my own ship.  I think I'll call it the SS Holy Shit!.  Oh, and it appears to have limited navigation tools (or maybe I'm just a shit captain right from the get-go?!).  Time to face my fears using nothing but my gut, courage, humour and hopefully, a bit of grace.  I can really only guarantee humour though, the rest is a bit of a crapshoot.

"Breathe on 8" is a phrase taken from my past as a synchro swimmer.  Holding your breath while upside down and spinning in time with seven other girls is not easy.  From my perspective, underwater, unsmiling and going blue, I really only cared about when I could breathe next.  On 1?  On 4?  Generally the music is counted in 8's so it's the last possible count before your lungs explode.  Life after marriage is all about stopping yourself from spinning upside down, getting righted and eventually coming up and breathing.  With a smile, of course, because that's how you win!

1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ... BREATHE ON 8.