Mediate. Try Not to Hate.

Thank you to INXS for their a propos lyrics.

Let me tell you what mediation is like.  Imagine yourself waking up, having a shower and getting all ready for the day.  Nice clothes, perfect makeup, good hair.  Out the door confidently and feeling ready to negotiate fairly and in good faith.  You arrive on time and your lawyer greets you warmly.  You're prepared albeit a bit nervous.  The mediator comes in, closes the door and asks about the current state and what you'd like to see happen through mediation.  You''re still confident and you present your life as is and how you'd like to proceed.  You admit that some of it you don't have a clear picture of and that you're willing to work with the mediator and your ex-husband to find creative solutions.  Sounds good, right?  The mediator leaves to go have the same conversation with your ex and his lawyer and then this good day takes a turn.  Refusal to play ball, attacks on your character and nine (9!) hours of back and forth which result in zero resolution to any of the issues.  At the end of the day, tired, hungry and drained, you are reduced to a puddle of tears back alone in the room with your lawyer.  And realize you have no sunglasses so while all the hot guys in the financial district are going for Friday night drinks, you're leaving the building looking like this:

Needless to say, I didn't attract a lot of positive attention from the gentlemen of Bay St.  And, in my distressed state, I walked the wrong way and eventually ended up just walking for about 45 minutes in the cold not-very-springlike air.  Got home, called a friend and took my only, already-open bottle of wine to her house.  We drank it and more and talked and despite my desire to get smashed, I found that I was exhausted.  I went home and got into bed where I stayed until after noon the next day.  Spent the rest of that day completely down and uninterested in life.  Woke up early on Sunday morning, worked out really hard, had a long shower and bought myself a new lipstick - Chatterbox by MAC - and decided that life was worth living again.

Mediate

Clear the state

Activate

Now radiate

That INXS was really on to something.  Smart Aussie boys with their clever lyrics.